If jokes

It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."