Identity jokes
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
I am Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are HeHee.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
What do you call an African American pilot?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.