ID jokes

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.

What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?

"I'd hit that."

Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

A: I'd hit that.

Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.

Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!

Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."