Ice

Ice Jokes

How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!

Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: mom next year for the carnival can I dress up as a princess? the mother replies: why? you don't like the ice lolly dress from the last year?

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van if you touch my van I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan if you steal ice cream I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine

Little Johnny was living with his granpa durring the summer...Well grampa had a beer and Johnny said “grampa, let me get a sip of that” Grampa said “well lil Johnny, does your dk reach your a?” and lil Johnny said "well no sir"And grampa said then no you cant. Later that day papaw(granpa) had a ciggar and Johnny said let me get a hit of that and papaw asked well Johnny does your dk reach your a and Johnny said no again and then papaw was shootin his gun and johnny asked if he could shhot it and granpa asked Johnny if his dk reached his a and johnny sid no well after supper Johnnys granma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER) and granpa said “Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream” and Johnny asked papaw "well papaw does your dk reach your a nd papaw said “well Johnny as a matter of a fact it does” and johnny said “good, now go fck your self cause you aint gettin none of my ice cream!”

Priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube... priest asks what are you guys doing the boys answer the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken