Ice

Ice jokes

Ice Cream

Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?

To make room in the freezer for his special meat.

Ice Cream

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Titanic

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

Memes

Ice Cream

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Ice Cream

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

Wordplay

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

Boy

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Ice Cream

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

Orphan

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

Bridge

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)