What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Ice Jokes
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
RTG iceberg?
It's ice to see you.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because he kept spitting ice!
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ice chains.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
