How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.