Hows jokes
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"