How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
How do you know when an orphan is lying.
When they say I swear on my motherโs life
how do you help a depressed kid face their fears... u count to 3 and say jump>
How is $ex like air? Itโs not a big deal unless you arenโt getting any.
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
How do woman make you a millionaire?
When your a billionaire.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don't have a ...
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby its a "choice". But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called "murder".
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How are giants and strippers alike? They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw
