at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I'm a butcher
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers
Imagine your new playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1:shoot someone Option 2:suicide
Me: aren't they the same thing?
how did the gay girl die? homocide
my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished.
The dog lead went slack
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
racecar backwards is racecar but racecar sideways is how paul walker died
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole? -- Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis
Emo girls be like- how much am I worth... Girl scan the code on your wrist
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees
Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.
Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don't belong in buildings
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
How did Hellen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball as told her to “read this book”.
