Hows jokes
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What did the little boy say to the fat man? How many Japs did you get?
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.