Hows jokes
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.