Howe jokes

How do you get an emo out of the tree?

You cut the rope.

How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.

How do bees go to school?

They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.

How do you spell "I. P. With U?"

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?

Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

How did pioneers name Canada?

They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

How do you spot an English man in Quebec?

A square head.

How many fat people are in my house?

20, counting the kids in the basement.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!

How long is it?

How are the faster readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.

How did Steven Hawking die?

He lost internet connection.

How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Doritos.