Howe jokes

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."

How do Mexicans begin counting?

Juan, Two, Three.

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

How do people get skinny?

Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"

Do you get it? SEArch.

Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"

I have a penis.

How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.

500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.

Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.

How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.

Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.

How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?

Chew when you swallow!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. XD

Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.

Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.

Me: How do you know that?

How does a tree get online? They log in.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and sick his dick.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

102, if you have some alive ones.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.