Howe jokes

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?

Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!

How are the faster readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?

His buns were too tight.

Why did the rapper smoke dope?

To learn how to drop some DOPE beats!

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

How did Steven Hawking die?

He lost internet connection.

How do you spot an English man in Quebec?

A square head.

How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Doritos.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many fat people are in my house?

20, counting the kids in the basement.

How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?

They were always using pyramid schemes!

How did pioneers name Canada?

They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!