Howe jokes
How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?
Nail one hand to the ground...
How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
Memes
This is how @The Ugly Rats cousin Looks like
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.