Howe jokes
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?
Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.
Twin: Not funny, dude.
Memes
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
You are in the airway, how funny!
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
How do you make an idiot say how?
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
This is how I got [redacted]
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔