Howe jokes
Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
How long are you? I
Memes
Ok,how the hell has this "Meme" got so many likes?
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
You are in the airway, how funny!
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?
Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.
Twin: Not funny, dude.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.