Howe jokes

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make it clap until its parents come home.

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?

A: Snowballs.

How do you fix a broken gorilla?

With a monkey wrench.

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

How did Mace Windu die?

He fell out the windoo.

Q: How do you see a bad joke?

A: Look in the mirror.

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.

You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.