Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
Howe Jokes
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
