Howe jokes
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Memes
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
How's it going @#$!
What's the time?
How would I know?
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.