Howe jokes
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Memes
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
How do you get 1000 followers?
Walk into an African village with a water bottle.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.