Howe jokes
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
How do you get 1000 followers?
Walk into an African village with a water bottle.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Memes
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you make orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap for their parents to come back.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make it clap until its parents come home.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.