How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Howe Jokes
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
