Howe jokes
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
How do you anger a Republican?
Tell him the truth.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
How do you anger a Libertarian?
Don't tell him the truth.
Memes
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.