Howe jokes
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Memes
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Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.