Howe jokes

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

How do you spot a cow?

With a bingo dabber.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.