Howe jokes
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Memes
Shitpost-master general
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
How do people eat bread?
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”