Howe jokes
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Memes
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.