Howe jokes

Ring

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Head

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

Tree

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

Ableist

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

Ball

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

Memes

Cannibal

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Fight

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

Orphan

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

Bull

How do you keep a bull from charging?

You take its credit card away.

Homeless Guy

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

War

How does an American know that his time has come?

He starts hearing Vietnamese.

Bill

How to decorate a wall:

Strip off the paper and original plaster.

Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.

Paint it (if you want).

Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.

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  • Woman

    I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

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