How did they know that princess Diana had dandraff? , They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what's so sad and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's head before they died". I replied "probably a bullet", she gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent's heads", I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Person 1: you are the dumbest person in the class. Person 2: well ur the second. Person 2: maybe but at least im not the dummest. Person 2: i know how to fix that! ... Next day person commits sucide...
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.
How did helen kellers parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement .
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
how do you suprise a blind guy. leave the plunger in the toilet
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about
Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
