Homophone jokes
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
89 cows = 0 cows.
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?
Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
If there's a lieutenant, shouldn't there be a righttenant too? 🤔
What do you call a series of ascending steps with eyes that follow you intently?
A starecase.
kapteyn = captain
1 + 1 = window.
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Look under...
Under where?
You just said underwear!
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"