Homophone jokes
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?
Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
If there's a lieutenant, shouldn't there be a righttenant too? 🤔
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
89 cows = 0 cows.
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"