Homophone jokes
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
Say "I cup" but in words.
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's 2+2? FORE-head.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
89 cows = 0 cows.