Homophone jokes
If there's a lieutenant, shouldn't there be a righttenant too? 馃
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
Say "I cup" but in words.
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's 2+2? FORE-head.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.