Homophone jokes

What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?

A liquor cabinet.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Who loves walnut? Wallace!

Spell "I cup." It's funny.

Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!

What's a footlong and slippery?

A slipper.

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

Say "I cup" but in words.

"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?

New York Jets.

What's 2+2? FORE-head.

Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

Why was the dog stealing shingles?

He wanted to be a woofer.

What does a cannibal call people in water?

Sea food.

89 cows = 0 cows.

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

kapteyn = captain