Homophone jokes

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Who loves walnut? Wallace!

Spell "I cup." It's funny.

Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!

What's a footlong and slippery?

A slipper.

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

Say "I cup" but in words.

"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?

New York Jets.

What's 2+2? FORE-head.

Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

Why was the dog stealing shingles?

He wanted to be a woofer.

What does a cannibal call people in water?

Sea food.

89 cows = 0 cows.

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

kapteyn = captain

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.