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Home jokes

Orphan

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Midget

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

Kitchen

Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?

Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!

Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home base.

Memes

Alabama

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they won't know where home plate is.

Shit

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Milk

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

Snail

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

Dad

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Orphan

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

Umpire

The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”

Soap

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?