Home jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
I left my Avatar at home today.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.