Home jokes
I left my Avatar at home today.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
Is your home the Twin Towers? Because I'm tryna crash!
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"