Home jokes

Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?

Because she is a home-y.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because he doesn’t know where home is.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

I did a good job of being home from school.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home base is.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

How to make an orphan die?

Tell them to yell until their folks come home.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

What song can't orphans sing?

"Sweet Home Alabama."

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

Why can’t orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.