Home jokes

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.

What does a stray cat/dog have in common?

Both of them don't have a home!

What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can't find home.

Why am I so successful?

When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.

What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

All orphans must hate the LGBTQIA+ because they are home-o-phobic.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"