Home jokes
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
I did a good job of being home from school.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?