Home jokes
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."