Home jokes
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.