Home Jokes

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

What's an orphan's dream job?

A builder, to build themselves a home.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.

My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.

One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Why can't an orphan have a phone?

Because they will see a home.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."

Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"

Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?

A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?

A. He was trying to phone home.

How do parents punish their blind kids?

They re-arrange the furniture.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.