Home jokes
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Earth is full. Go home!
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.