Home jokes
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
"This vacuum sucks!"
Vacuum: "Yes, I do."
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.