Hole Jokes

A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.

The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”

Your Dad.

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.

He sucked his sister's poop hole.

Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳

inside 🚹 🚹 restroom

equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside

glory 🕳

kaka hole

What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.

Gays: I like men.

Straight: I like women.

Bisexual: A hole is a hole.

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

What do you call your dad?

You don't. Hahahahaha!

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?

A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.

What did the dick say to the asshole?

You need another dick.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.