History

History Jokes

U.S.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: The U.S. in 1919!

Solution

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

Danielle Smith

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.

Jesus

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

Japan

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Gay

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

Hitler

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Tower

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

Solution

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"

Head

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

Reason

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.

Nazi

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

World

What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?

The Jew World Order.

Nightmare

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

Man

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

Eye

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.

Twin Towers

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........