Himself jokes

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Feminist

  • What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

    Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

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  • Nun

  • A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

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    Hitler

  • When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

    "One, he killed himself."

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  • Scale

  • On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?

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    Suicide

  • My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

    My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

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  • Emo kid

  • When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

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    Emo

  • What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

    Hitler knows when to kill himself!

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    Wheelchair

  • My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

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