Himself jokes
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.