Him jokes

Orphan

    • Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

    Handjobs

    • A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."

    He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

    She says, "Yes, I am."

    He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."

  • 1

    • Son

    • Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

    Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

    Son: Mom, I’m blind.

    Mom: Exactly.

  • 1

    • Dude

    • A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

  • 0
    • Him memes

    Worm

    • A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

    A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

    BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

    NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

  • 0

    • Name

    • Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

    Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

    Angela: His name is Kevin.

    Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

    Angela: I don't know.

  • 4

    • Pacman

    • The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

    Wood

    • A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

    The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

  • 0

    • Poo

    • Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

  • 1

    • Fish

    • There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

  • 1

    • Cancer

    • Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

    The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

  • 1