A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
