I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”
I'd make a joke about corn, but its to corny. Then again, i could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. my funny bone is broken, i guess it was because those jokes where to HUMERUS.
What is a vampire's favourite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favourite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
Three nuns up to Mother Teresa and say Mother Teresa we would not like to be eaten anymore Mother Teresa says okay but first you have to do something Unholy so they a leave and come back 3 days later the first one the first one says Mother Teresa I did something Unholy I took a little kids bike Mother Teresa says okay who drink from the holy water and you are free to go II unlocks upset I did it something worse than her I slept with a married man the last nun walks up and says I did something worse than all of them Mother Teresa says oh god oh gosh are there in the third nut and says I peed in the holy water
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas do you get it they are hill areas like a mountain is a hill area it sounds like hilarious so you get it
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious Him: How do you break things Me: you break things up Him: okay Me: is everything okay Him: were a twig. We’re breaking up
Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office.
Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
What do you get if you cross Hilary Clinton and Barrack Obama. A blonde n1gger cunt
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb christian pussy ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious although I hate her.
Why did the AI go to school? To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"! Ha Ha Ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy fellow humans.
The best way to enjoy port arthur is to shoot through- a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield
what is the difference between hilary duff and a computer? you only have to punch information into a computer once.
why isn't hilary duff interested in edcaution? A. she said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at jenga
