What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
HI Jokes
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.
And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
