HI jokes

Life

  • Hi Gwen, how is life!

    A. Bad, lame, and suckish.

    B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!

    C. Perfect!

    I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!

    Sun

  • Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......

    Human: :D

    Sun: I want to BuRn you.........

    Human: .......

    Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....

    Human: I should be going now.

    Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!

    Human: *Screams his last sound*

  • 0
  • Little Johnny

  • Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

    Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

    Mom: Well, it’s my house.

    Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

    Mom: Go to school!

    At school:

    Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

    Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

    Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

  • 0
  • Grip

  • Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

    So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

    Gun

  • Me: Hi, my name is...

    Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?

    Me: Hey, stop dude!

    Bro: How is it going, bro--

    Me: SHUT UP!

    Bro: Is that a gun?

    Me: *Pointing at bro*

    Bro: Dude, I'm...

    Me: *BANG* *BANG*

    Me: Finally, it's over.

    Wife

  • Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

    Time

  • Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

    Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

    Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

    Boy

  • Girl: Hi (flirt)

    Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

    Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

    Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...