HI jokes

What did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud!"

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

Or,

"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"

I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"

Dear Grad Parents,

Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.

There will be more information to follow in the coming days.

Thank you.

Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?

"Hi-five!"

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

Hi! I love my dog.