So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
why did the actor fall through the floor??.. he was just going through a stage
little johnny father seas if them boys say anther bad word i'm going to whoop them and little johnny brother sey's i'll like sum fuking food and he whoop him and little johnny sey's he wood i'll like sum food at lest i didnt i'll like sum fuking food by.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
A man walks into a bar.......... and he never walks out.
What did the chicken say when he saw ahuman running around uncontrollably? "its running around like a human with its head cut off"
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Why can't orphans go to a school fied trip?
Because he needs the parent signature
Why can't Biden play chess?
Because he doesn't have the towers.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
