Hes jokes
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.