Herring jokes

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is "equator."

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.

Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.