Herring jokes

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

How do you get a hippy pregnant?

Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?

No, and neither did she.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.