Herring jokes

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?

A: "Oops, I got your nose!"

Why did the strawberry cry?

Her mom was in a jam.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?

Long sleeves.