Herring jokes

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.