Herring jokes

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"