Herring jokes

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?

Her-she.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?

Grounded beef.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.