Herring jokes

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."