This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... π"
MC: "π¨"
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
