Herring jokes

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.