Herring jokes

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.