Herring jokes

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"