A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
