Herring Jokes

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"