Herring jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.

Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."

A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.

What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?

Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.