i can here thunder outside which i find weird since the lightning is on my arm....
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously it's called dark humor for a reason
Pennywise: They all float down here! Titanic: *hold my beer*
Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know
What did one butt check say to the other? “Between you and me it stinks in here”
Why Were The Twin Towers Scared At Dinner?
Because There Mom Said "Here Comes The Airplane!"
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: ........ oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
Here's a better version of a previous joke:
I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes...
I've seen too many of them get elected.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he's too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.
Customer: Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?
Employee: Ma’am, this is an adoption agency, you can’t do that here!
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!
Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: Were here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!
