Her jokes

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.

I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.